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Exploring Dream Reality

The Dark Beyond the Dream

My Mutable Dream Body

The Dark Beyond the Dream

© 2000 Linda Lane Magallón

Take a look at the dictionary definition and you'll find a very strong assumption that a dream consists of pictures. Even the term lucidity evokes the vividness and clarity of imagery. Nevertheless, I can sometimes find myself literally "in the dark" while I'm lucid. I'm not referring to a fading dream. I'm not talking about "closing my eyes." I mean the pitch black outside the spotlight of the bright dream movie. The first time I experienced this dark zone, I was spontaneously catapulted beyond the dream imagery. I certainly wasn't expecting it.

Furniture Warehouse, 4/24/83

Lucid, I am walking through a warehouse filled with furniture. Although it's brightly lit, the warehouse is crowded with objects and I feel cramped. I stop in a narrow aisle and tell the dream world, "Okay, you guys, let's get out of here!" I feel hesitant about going forward or sideways.

Suddenly, I am projected quickly backwards about 10 to 15 feet into the dark. Ahead of me I can still see the opening to the extremely bright room from which I have just come. The opening is not a silhouette of my physical body, though; it's oval in shape. Did I hunch over when I was projected backwards? Beginning to feel a little afraid about being out here in the dark, I start moving slowly back towards the opening. It's not easy because there is no ground to walk on. I feel like an astronaut in free fall.

The next time, 6 months later, I went into the dark zone on purpose. But not until after I'd thrown in all the furniture to see if it was safe. Foolhardy, I ain't.

Green Room With Mirror, 10/30/83

I am in a small, green room with a few pieces of furniture. There are similar cubicles nearby. In front of me is a mirror: bright with no reflection. I wonder if all the furniture are hallucinations and decide to find out.

I pick up a white plastic chair and throw it through a dark window to my right. It's actually a square hole bordered by a wooden frame. The chair is followed by a table; then I heave a water heater through the hole. I get rid of all the furniture, then decide to go into the blackness myself. It's completely dark. I turn around. Looking back, I can see the rectangular glow of the room from which I've come.

Was this dark area the astral state? Could it be the place where I would be able to see my bedroom while I was out-of-body? I needed to experiment and explore some more.

Torn Paper, 11/17/83

To establish the dream I announce, "This is a lucid dreamer." Then I write a note (to my recurring dream character) with light pen ink on a lined piece of paper, "I love you Willie, Love, Linda." The paper is torn and folded irregularly. Nevertheless, I lose the dream.

I concentrate and bring it back. When I regain the imagery, I'm in the same place. I decide to go through the wall, backwards, creating a hole. I find myself floating in the dark with a bright oval indicating the way from which I've come. "Look for the bed," I admonish myself, hoping to see my own bedroom. An image forms, but it's not my bed. It fades away.

Rats. I couldn't seem to find my way to the astral state using this route. So I shifted goals. One was to try to alert other dream characters to the dark. This wasn't very successful. On 8/14/84 I told a group of more than 30 men that if we were lucid, we should be able to work together and move outside the environment of the room. "Are you aware that there is another existence behind this dream?" I asked another group on 2/10/86. They just looked at me blankly.

Another goal was to remain in the dark, attempting to hold onto my lucidity. Of course, without imagery I couldn't look at my hands to stabilize my state of consciousness. But I found that, by using my hands, I could feel my way around. My sense of touch helped me to stay lucid and dreaming for quite a while.

In 1987 I wrote an article about dark zone experiences for the Lucidity Letter, explaining how dreamers can maintain lucidity there. In response, Stephen LaBerge and Howard Reingold said in their book, Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming, "Magallon may be a dreamer with an unusually active REM system; it may be that she has little trouble staying asleep once she is in REM."

I would like to state for the record that, after 38 years of repressing my nightmares, my default mode is to recall no dreams at all. None. Zero. Zip. Even remembering a regular dream takes effort. It's no walk in the park to induce lucidity. To maintain lucidity takes even more work. To quote my daughter, it's "hella difficult."

Passive dreamers have gushed to me, "Oh, you're so lucky to have lucid dreams!" Like some fairy godmother sprinkles pixie dust while I sleep. I'm surprised that lucid dreamers would come to the same conclusion. Hey, they could have asked.

My Mutable Dream Body

© 2001 Linda Lane Magallón

The lucid dreamscape is obviously mutable and that fascinates me. But I didn't think to experiment with the flexible form of my own dream body until the repeated comments from a couple of dream characters suggested that possibility to me.

The Uniforms, 1/11/86

I become lucid crossing a street to walk up the sidewalk along the grass in front of a multistory university building. Down the alley I see a couple of professors talking to one another. I stride toward them with the intent to speak with them but they finish their discussion and hurry away. Under the eaves to the right are two more men. I turn and walk towards them. The gray haired man is speaking as I approach.

Feeling the pressure of time (a lucid dream doesn't last long!), I interrupt him and say, "Excuse me, but I need to talk to someone." Finally he stops conversing. His younger brown-haired companion turns to look in my direction. "It appears that this is a dream," I say. Yet, as I gaze fixedly at the younger man, I realize that he's as clear and real as anybody in waking life.

"A dream?" he retorts, shaking his head slightly in disbelief. I know from past dreams that trying to convince him is an exercise in futility. So I decide to take a different tact. "Have you ever known of anyone who held the same viewpoint?" I ask.

"Well, yes," he replies, "The uniforms do."

"The uniforms?" I ask. I wonder if he's referring to people who wear regimental clothing.

"Yes, the uniforms," reemphasizes a dark-haired Caucasian woman who has appeared to his right. Suddenly I understand what they are talking about.

"Oh, you mean uni-FORMS, shapes, people that retain the same outline." What an interesting thought­they must be people who are so closely identified with the earth ego that they don't realize they can shape-change in this environment. At any rate, the woman seems to be inferring that I'm one of the "uniforms," but she's a shape-changer. Oh, yeah? I think.

"So I can put my hand through your arm," I say and reach out, grab her right arm with my left hand, and begin to pass my right hand through her arm in a slicing motion.

"Ouch!" she yelps. My hand is stopped halfway­as though my fingers have passed through the muscle but are being resisted by the bone. Oh great!­I think­I'm going to be stuck in this woman's arm! So I concentrate to complete the job, closing my eyes in the process. It feels as though my hand goes through several layers and out the bottom. When I open my eyes, the woman appears to be Black. I'm still holding onto her arm.

"Now you try with my arm," I invite her. She hesitates. "Go ahead, you can do it. It's just a belief."

"A belief?!" she exclaims with disbelief.

The woman didn't take my suggestion that she experiment with the malleability of my dream body. But that invitation remained open to other dream characters.

Proud Out-Of-Body Traveler, 5/10/88

When the dream springs up, I find myself in a large living room. I converse with the people around me. There's serious conversation but I perch myself casually on the thick arm of one of the long sofas. I ask the young blonde-haired girl seated next to me, "What year is this for you?"

"1984," she replies. "1984?!" I repeat, excited. This means I can question her about the future because I'm from 1982...or am I? I concentrate to remember. No, I'm not, I mentally correct myself. "Oh, for me it's 1988," I say.

I get off the edge of the couch and go round the young woman to sit next to and converse with an older, gray haired woman. She asks me some very pointed questions, listening to my responses with a frown. Then I watch her get up and go sit down with the women on the sofa at a 90° angle to mine. She gives a report to them about me, with some men on the opposite sofa listening too. After they discuss what I've said, a couple of women state matter-of-factly that someone like me (from the outside) could be an unsettling influence on their group.

At this, I exclaim to all within hearing distance, "I'm very proud of being an out-of-body traveler!" After all, it takes a lot of concentration on my part just to be here. I think I should be congratulated, instead of criticized or constrained.

Convinced that talk will get me nowhere, I decide upon action instead. I walk out to the middle of the adjoining room, which is as large as a convention hall. A group of younger people gather round me as I begin to chat with them. As with all the people in this dream, they are dressed in colorful clothes (I remember lots of bright primary colors, especially purple, as well as ornate brocades). I am trying to tell them that the imagery in this place is unusually flexible­not fixed like they all expect. To prove my point, I impulsively perform a very vivid demonstration.

"Look," I say to a shorter, Black young woman. "I can put my arm into you." I do, directly into her solar plexus. "Yikes!" she responds, automatically pulling in her stomach. But I've moved so fast, my fist is already inside her. With the speed of molasses, I continue pushing my hand through her and out the other side. I can feel the layers of muscle and bone as my hand and then arm go right through. I end up with my fist out her backside so those behind can see.

"Hey," I hear an excited voice say behind me, "My shoulder passes right through hers!" I turn slightly to my left and see out of the corner of my eye the courageous young man who, following my lead, has attempted this feat using me as the target. (Interestingly, I haven't felt it much. It's certainly not painful, more like someone softly brushing against me with a bunch of feathers.) His voice and the voices of his friends rise in a ripple of amazement. Great! I turn back and withdraw my arm from the young woman, who is none the worse for wear.

Now the young people really crowd around, peering directly at me and making conversation. I especially recall the face of a young dark-haired Caucasian man with glasses who looks like he's from the 50's. Suddenly, I get an intuitive impression of just who these people might be. I turn and walk with the young blonde-haired woman (who I met at the beginning of the dream). "Are you dead?" I ask. "What's the last date you remember?"

"September 25th," she replies. "What year?" I ask again, but she doesn't respond because now she's walking so fast, she outdistances me. Through one of several glass doors, all opened in a row she goes, along with her companions. As if heeding some inner call, they're herding together, pouring out of the convention center and across the street to a circular structure. I follow for a ways but stop far behind, watching the group enter the building which is on a slight hill. Off to my left, under an overhang and by a concrete wall are two men dressed in guard uniforms. I walk over to them. "Where are they all going?" I ask.

"We'd rather not tell you right now," one of the blonde haired men replies. The other almost seems his twin, although I don't get a very good look at him. Unusual for me, I don't start to argue or complain about this delaying tactic. Instead, I ask, "Are there any guides or maps for out-of-body travelers around here?"

"Yes," one of the two replies. "Could I have one, please?" I request. They turn to look up the street toward the building. My gaze follows theirs. I hear one of them call, so softly that it might be telepathy, "Marilyn!" With that, a woman who has been hanging out on the sidewalk starts my way. So do her two companions, a man and a woman. What a comical twist: instead of guide booklets, they understood me to mean people who are guides.

The man arrives first, dancing on either side of me, like a jester, in clothes that keep changing. The other woman seems to have the same rather irritating behavior. However, the woman who has been called comes directly down the sidewalk. As she nears me, her appearance takes on that of a portly woman with curly, mid-length blonde hair. Her garment is a robe brocaded with ornate black designs. The white background to her robe pulses into a brilliant glow which I know comes from within. "Wow," I exclaim.

Then, as if in response to my awe, her appearance immediately changes into a darker-haired woman whose clothes seem made of sandy-colored burlap, though there is still a square of colorful brocade on her chest. Amused at this transformation, I respond, "Hey, that's pretty tricky!" Together, we turn and go back up the hill.

The penetration and reconstitution of the dream body wasn't yet obvious to me. I got the closest view of those visual effects in this dream.

Hand Through Limbs, 9/15/89

I become lucid in a small living room occupied by two women: an older gray haired one and one slightly younger. I get the feeling they're related to each other. When I ask, "What's your name?" the youngest does tell me hers. I respond, "My name's Linda Magallón." The older woman nods and echoes, "Linda," about the same time I say it, continuing, "I know."

Because I've had some trouble saying my name, the younger woman talks about "clearing." I realize I have that old mush-in-my-mouth feeling and reach in three times to remove it. The substance is blue in color and has a gelatin appearance.

I wake and though I'm a little stiff, I direct myself back into dreaming without changing my body position. I quickly get to the voices-in-the-dark level of consciousness where I hear two children, a boy and a girl, arguing with one another. "Hello," I think towards them, "Can you hear me?"

The darkness shifts and a lucid dream scene springs up again. To my surprise, I find myself standing on my hands, upside down, as if preparing to push off and levitate. Across the room (seen upside down, of course) is a color television showing Star Trek. I can hear Captain Kirk's voice.

I let myself down to the floor and turn around. There is no TV anywhere and the room is dead quiet! Somehow, from this position, there's been a change in my surroundings. The room looks smaller and bluer than before. Since the two women (from the first dream) aren't around, I figure I must be focused in a different level of consciousness. Without moving I try to refocus to where they exist by remembering them via their feeling tones.

The scene blurs and springs up again bright and warm. I did it! I walk out of the front room, towards the kitchen and encounter the younger woman. Now what was her name? Jessica? Jezebel? Didn't it have a "Jerri" in it? I consider asking her directly, "Now, what was your name?" but decide against it. I finally remember that it's "Jerrica."

We walk to the hallway between living area and kitchen. I notice a roll-away cart with a microwave oven, crockery and books piled on it. I ask Jerrica, "What is this place?"

"It's like Columbus' cinnamon," I think I hear her say

"A cinnamon for Columbus?!" I repeat, grinning at the absurdity. Then I realize she has a slight European accent which probably slurred the word. "Oh, you mean synonym! I wonder what a synonym for Columbus would be? Columbia?"

Jerrica doesn't respond, so I walk into the modern kitchen where the older woman is working. Suddenly I get the inspiration to demonstrate my degree of lucidity to the two women. "Look at what I can do to my astral body!" I tell them.

As they gather round to see, I take my right hand and try to push it directly through my left arm. The skin indents and then allows my hand to go through. My fingers feel as if they are passing through different layers, slightly different textures, but they don't encounter the resistance of hard bone. As for my arm, there's not much more sensation than the pressure I'd feel if I were to press my hand against the skin (in waking life). I roll my arm over and observe my fingers exiting the other side of it. All fingers save my second finger reemerge. It is bent over? I try to feel it by wiggling my hand inside my arm. I notice that my index finger has a long, sculpted fingernail, unlike my blunt nails of waking life. Also, the fingers have a purple cast.

The older woman frowns as if thinking hard. "How many years have you been doing that?" she asks me.

"How many years?" I reply, "I'm not sure. If I try to concentrate, you know what happens to a dream!" In fact the energy effort of conversing does cause the scene to mist, but fortunately I am able to pull it back again.

Then I lift my left leg, reach down and pass my right hand into it just above the calf muscle and below the bone. I notice with amusement that, unlike physical life, my dream leg is hairy and has dark freckles. But it is just as glaring white as in waking life. The older woman starts tapping on the upper side of my leg. "Not the bone," I caution her, knowing from past dream experience that it's harder to pass through bone than muscle.

When I withdraw my hand from my leg, I can see it takes a while for the pucker to disappear. Also, there is a glistening of moisture as if it came from the interior of the leg.

Does anyone know a synonym for Columbus? :-)

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